Mean Machine
Release date: 2001-12-26
Votes: 586
Genres: Comedy, Drama
Disgraced ex-England football captain, Danny 'Mean Machine' Meehan, is thrown in jail for assaulting two police officers. He keeps his head down and has the opportunity to forget everything and change the lives of the prisoners. When these prisoners have the chance to put one over the evil guards during a prison football match, Danny takes the lead.
Reviews
John Chard
1-0 to the Mean Machine. Mean Machine is an English reworking of Robert Aldrich's 1974 beefcake Burt Reynolds starrer, The Longest Yard. Substituting Gridiron for Soccer, director Barry Skolnick, along with his roll call of British "faces", is only aiming for one market. That of the footie worshipping clan that primarily resides within the United Kingdom. Very much a long way from competing on the same playing field as Aldrich's superior movie, Mean Machine does have enough about it to make it an enjoyable viewing outside of the excellently constructed soccer match that fills out the last third of the piece. But with the film's reputation being far from good, the chance that many others feel the same as me are pretty remote. About as remote as Accrington Stanley winning the English Premiere League one feels. The problem would seem to lay with the first hour, violence and humour thrust together does not always yield great rewards, and so it be with the wet behind the ears direction from Skolnick. Caught between a tough portrayal of British prison life and outright slapstick, it's an odd bedfellow that Skolnick can't quite get right. And with Guy Ritchie on the sidelines donning the "supervising producer" shirt, one can't help thinking that Ritchie would have made substantially more with the material to hand. But as "I" say, there's enough there for the discerning fan of blood and banter. Led by the watchable Jones, the cast, outside of the miscast David Hemmings as the Governor, pull out the stops to entertain the terrace faithful. Danny Dyer haters will enjoy him getting knocked about as he plays simpleton Billy Limpet, while Jason Statham is a joy as Monk, a Jock that even the Jocks are afraid of. While also putting in scene stealing shifts of note are Jamie Sives, Vas Blackwood and Omid Djalili. It's no piece of work to rank in the higher echelons of British movies - or sports movies in general for that matter. But in spite of its soggy formula and over reliance on the template film it's working from, it's very funny at times, and if you like soccer? Well the actual match is well worth the wait. 7/10 Footnote: The Longest Yard/Mean Machine was met with another re- imaging in 2005 with Adam Sandler as the disgraced lead protagonist. Proof positive that it's either a formula that many can't resist? Or that it's one that some feel still hasn't yet met its potential?
Movie Recommendation
Vysotsky: Thank God I'm Alive2011-12-01Russian poet, singer and actor Vladimir Vysotsky was an idol of the 1970s and '80s. In 1980, at the age of 42, he passed away during the Moscow Olympic Games. This is the story of his last great love as handed down to his son from a family friend. Written by nitorch.More...
The Football Factory2004-05-13The Football Factory is more than just a study of the English obsession with football violence, it's about men looking for armies to join, wars to fight and places to belong. A forgotten culture of Anglo Saxon males fed up with being told they're not good enough and using their fists as a drug they describe as being more potent than sex and drugs put together.More...
Joshua Tree1993-04-08A Los Angeles police detective tracks a fugitive who heads for the desert with a deputy sheriff as hostage.More...
You the Rich1948-12-31Pepe el Toro is married to Celia la Chorreada and they have two children.More...
The Longest Yard1974-08-21A football player-turned-convict organizes a team of inmates to play against a team of prison guards. His dilemma is that the warden asks him to throw the game in return for an early release, but he is also concerned about the inmates' lack of self-esteem.More...
Clockstoppers2002-03-29Until now, Zak Gibbs' greatest challenge has been to find a way to buy a car. But when he discovers an odd wristwatch amidst his father's various inventions and slips it on -- something very strange happens. The world around him seems to come to a stop, everything and everybody frozen in time. Zak quickly learns how to manipulate the device and he and his quick-witted and beautiful new friend, Francesca, start to have some real fun.More...
Ghosts of Mars2001-08-24In 2176, a Martian police unit is sent to pick up a highly dangerous criminal at a remote mining post. Upon arrival, the cops find the post deserted and something far more dangerous than any criminal — the original inhabitants of Mars, hellbent on getting their planet back.More...
The Great Gilly Hopkins2015-10-05Young and feisty Gilly Hopkins (Sophie Nélisse) devises a scheme to escape from her new foster home and reunite with her birth mother.More...
Beyond Borders2003-10-23Sarah Jordan, an American living in London in 1984, is married to the son of a wealthy British industrialist. She encounters Nick Callahan, a renegade doctor, whose impassioned plea for help to support his relief efforts in war-torn Africa moves her deeply. As a result, Sarah embarks upon a journey of discovery that leads to danger, heartbreak and romance in the far corners of the world.More...
Spun2003-02-07Over the course of three days Ross, a college dropout addicted to crystal-meth, encounters a variety of oddball folks - including a stripper named Nikki and her boyfriend, the local meth producer, The Cook - but all he really wants to do is hook up with his old girlfriend, Amy.More...
Seized2020-10-13Hiding out with his son Taylor on the Mexican coast, Nero hopes to put his violent Special Forces career behind him. But after Nero’s home is attacked and Taylor is abducted, the mysterious Mzamo orders Nero to slaughter the members of three rival crime syndicates. If he fails, Taylor will die. Now, with bullets flying and bodies dropping as Nero completes his mission, he races to find Mzamo’s hideout and seek revenge.More...
The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc1999-10-27In 1429, a French teenager stood before her King with a message she claimed came from God; that she would defeat the world's greatest army and liberate her country from its political and religious turmoil. As she reclaims God's diminished kingdom, this courageous young woman has various amazing victories until her violent and untimely death.More...
Needful Things1993-08-27A mysterious new shop opens in a small town which always seems to stock the deepest desires of each shopper, with a price far heavier than expected.More...
Trust2021-03-12Set in the glamour of the New York and Paris art scenes, gallery owner Brooke Gatwick and her newscaster husband Owen Shore, face temptation, jealousy, twists and mystery when two seductive newcomers enter their lives.More...
Starship Troopers: Invasion2012-08-28The troopers of two starships have joined forces to terminate a massive bug attack at a Federation outpost. Before the mission can be completed and the survivors evacuated, one ship abruptly departs and goes inexplicably dark. The remaining battle-hardened troopers race to the rescue only to discover that the threat from the bugs is about to hit home.More...
Cold in July2014-05-23While investigating noises in his house one balmy Texas night in 1989, Richard Dane puts a bullet in the brain of a low-life burglar. Although he’s hailed as a small-town hero, Dane soon finds himself fearing for his family’s safety when Freddy’s ex-con father rolls into town, hell-bent on revenge.More...
Up in Smoke1978-05-16An unemployed pot-smoking slacker and amateur drummer, Anthony Stoner ditches his strict parents and hits the road, eventually meeting kindred spirit Pedro de Pacas. While the drug-ingesting duo is soon arrested for possession of marijuana, Anthony and Pedro get released on a technicality, allowing them to continue their many misadventures and ultimately compete in a rock band contest, where they perform the raucous tune "Earache My Eye."More...
Smokey and the Bandit1977-05-26A race car driver tries to transport an illegal beer shipment from Texas to Atlanta in under 28 hours, picking up a reluctant bride-to-be on the way.More...
Monster's Ball2001-06-07A prison guard begins a tentative romance with the unsuspecting widow of a man whose execution he presided over.More...
132010-03-12A naive young man assumes a dead man's identity and finds himself embroiled in an underground world of power, violence, and chance where men gamble behind closed doors on the lives of other men.More...
Similar Movies
The Man with the Gold...
1955-12-26When illegal card dealer and recovering heroin addict Frankie Machine gets out of prison, he decides to straighten up. Armed with nothing but an old drum set, Frankie tries to get honest work as a drummer. But when his former employer and his old drug dealer re-enter his life, Frankie finds it hard to stay clean and eventually finds himself succumbing to his old habits.The Experiment
2001-03-0820 volunteers agree to take part in a seemingly well-paid experiment advertised by the university. It is supposed to be about aggressive behavior in an artificial prison situation. A journalist senses a story behind the ad and smuggles himself in among the test subjects. They are randomly divided into prisoners and guards. What seems like a game at the beginning soon turns into bloody seriousness.THX 1138
1971-03-11People in the future live in a totalitarian society. A technician named THX 1138 lives a mundane life between work and taking a controlled consumption of drugs that the government uses to make puppets out of people. As THX is without drugs for the first time he has feelings for a woman and they start a secret relationship.Lost Highway
1997-01-15A tormented jazz musician finds himself lost in an enigmatic story involving murder, surveillance, gangsters, doppelgängers, and an impossible transformation inside a prison cell.Weekend Warriors
No data for this movieBased on the 2023 German comedy-drama Weekend Rebels, an autistic teenager wants to find a favorite Premiere League soccer club and makes his father take him to see every single team so he can decide.Anak ni Baby Ama
1991-01-11A boy grows up not knowing his real identity. One day a mysterious lady, claiming to be his real mother, divulges the truth about his roots. He is caught between leaving his past and living his new life.Malcolm X
1992-11-18A tribute to the controversial black activist and leader of the struggle for black liberation. He hit bottom during his imprisonment in the '50s, he became a Black Muslim and then a leader in the Nation of Islam. His assassination in 1965 left a legacy of self-determination and racial pride.Salvador (Puig Antich...
2006-05-23The story of Salvador Puig Antich, one of the last political prisoners to be executed under Franco's Fascist State in 1974.FC Venus
2006-04-26Anna is persuaded by her boyfriend Paul to move from Berlin to his home town of Imma. What the notorious soccer hater doesn't know, however, is that joining his best friend Steffen's law firm is just a pretext. In reality, Paul and his buddies are there to save the soccer club he co-founded, Eintracht Imma 95, from relegation. Anna soon realizes that the players' wives have nothing to say to their soccer junkies: Artificial turf in the bedroom, Effenberg bedding and weekends on the soccer pitch. When she finds out the real reason for the move, she mobilizes her fellow sufferers to counter-attack after a fierce bout of frustration and challenges Paul and his friends to the ultimate duel on the soccer pitch. The bet is on: women against men. If the women win, soccer is over - and Paul has to go back to Berlin with Anna. Forever. If the men win, there will be no more complaining.Lucky You
2007-05-01A professional poker player whose astounding luck at the table fails to translate into his lonesome love life attempts to win the World Series of Poker while simultaneously earning the affections of a beautiful Las Vegas singer.Over the Top
1987-02-13Sylvester Stallone stars as hard-luck big-rig trucker Lincoln Hawk and takes us under the glaring Las Vegas lights for all the boisterous action of the World Armwrestling Championship. Relying on wits and willpower, Hawk tries to rebuild his life by capturing the first-place prize money, and the love of the son he abandoned years earlier into the keeping of his rich, ruthless father-in-law.The Vanishing
1993-02-05The boyfriend of an abducted woman never gives up the search as the abductor looks on.Gran Turismo
2023-08-09The ultimate wish-fulfillment tale of a teenage Gran Turismo player whose gaming skills won him a series of Nissan competitions to become an actual professional racecar driver.Bitayin si....Baby Am...
1976-08-06A story depicting the life of executed murderer and gang leader, Marciál "Baby" Ama. Ama, who became a gang leader with his prison mob while serving a sentence for lesser charges, was executed for murder at the age of 16 via electric chair on 4 October 1961.Shangrao Concentratio...
1951-01-01Shangrao Concentration Camp is set in the hellish confines of a Guomindang prison, where the brutal officials try to force two female Communist prisoners to reveal their leader's identity and location.The Street Player
1983-08-06Fares, a shoe factory worker, has only one passion in life: football. He lives a humble life in a chaotic neighborhood where he plays street football to increase his income. However, neither his marriage nor his job is stable enough. He goes through a lot of problems due to his lack of self-discipline with his divorced wife and his son.Some Like It Hot
2016-12-30After the unexpected death of his best friend, a man examines his life and finds it incredibly lonely. Inspired by an encounter with a beautiful and sexy model, he embarks with his three friends on what turns out to be a crazy (and slightly stupid) endeavor on a path towards fulfillment.Jailbreak
2017-01-31What started as a simple escort mission will soon turn to chaos as the prisoners of Koh Kla take over the prison grounds. A special task force gets trapped in the prison will have to fight their way out for survival, to protect a key witness.Seetimaarr
2021-09-10All a full-time bank employee and part-time kabaddi coach wants is to bring national relevance to the school his father built and help young kabaddi players in his village win the national championship. It might prove difficult than just coaching them though.The Docks of New York...
1928-09-16A blue-collar worker on New York's depressed waterfront finds his life changed after he saves a woman attempting suicide.