Red Sonja
Reviews
Wuchak
Not a good REH interpretation (it’s too campy), but entertaining in some ways "Red Sonja" (1985) is essentially "Conan 3," after "Conan the Barbarian" (1982) and "Conan the Destroyer" (1984). Schwarzenegger plays the barbarian 'Kalidor' here because the filmmakers didn't have the rights to the 'Conan' name since 'Red Sonja' was owned by a company separate from the REH people, yet -- strangely -- they could use REH's Hyborian setting, albeit in a half-axxed way. "Red Sonja" is the least of the three films. In other words, if you couldn't stomach parts of "Conan the Destroyer" you'll loathe "Red Sonja." It starts out pretty good but by the 23-minute mark the goofiness kicks in with the introduction of Prince Tarn (the spoiled Asian child who deems himself a king) and his loyal rotund assistant, Falkon. The sword & sorcery silliness turns full throttle by the final act. Needless to say, Robert E. Howard (REH) was rolling over in the grave at such roll-your-eyes treatment of his S&S fantasy world. It's strange because, for the most part, the film gets the LOOK of the Hyborian Age down pretty good, although there are some really fake-looking props/costumes/effects here and there. But, generally speaking, they did a decent job with the locations, costumes, cast and props. The problem is the overall cartoonish vibe. It's like Conan for kids or something and it's almost saddening to observe all this expense & effort wasted by the inexplicable decision to go the camp route. It mars what could have been a quality REH-influenced picture. John Milius' "Conan the Barbarian" may have deviated from REH but it made up for it by taking Conan and the Hyborian Age seriously, not that it was totally humorless. Laughter and lightness are an intrinsic part of life but they don't need to devolve into campy silliness. "Red Sonja," by contrast, is so silly at points that it's impossible to take seriously. This isn't to say it's all bad though. If you're in the right mode "Red Sonja" can fill the bill. It's not good, and you can't take it too seriously, but it's somewhat entertaining. What works? For one, as already noted, the film scores decently as far as visuals go. For instance, the Italian locations are gorgeous and, although Brigitte Nielsen in all her 6-foot glory doesn't match the comic's depiction of Red Sonja and looks more like Red Mullet, I have to admit that she's pleasant to the eye, and her swordplay is impressive. Also, the score by Ennio Morricone (famous for his great Spaghetti Western compositions back in the day, like "The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly," “Death Rides a Horse” and “Navajo Joe”) is pretty good too, although nowhere near the exceptionality of Basil Poledouris' compositions for the first two Conan flicks. Also, although Prince Tarn & Falkon are eye-rolling characters, you can't help but start to like them as the story progresses. As a matter of fact, the story in general pretty much maintains your attention, despite the occasional silliness. Another plus is Sandahl Bergman as the mad villain queen, but the filmmakers dropped the ball here because she appears fully clothed from head to toe throughout. The thing is, although Sandahl's face isn't ultra-cute like Brigitte, Sandahl has a killer body that exceeds Brigitte's. But you won't see it here; you'll have to re-watch "Conan the Barbarian" for that. Not that I'm suggesting a need for nudity or sex; it's just that Sandahl's a jaw-dropping whoa-man and they should have taken advantage of this with some more form-fitting attire to show-off her beauty. But she still looks great here, particularly in black hair and a cool mask. BOTTOM LINE: "Red Sonja" is a real mixed bag. It fails as a cinematic interpretation of REH's Hyborian world, but only because the filmmakers opted for kid-friendly goofiness at the expense of brutal S&S pseudo-reality. However, the film looks and sounds good, for the most part. Bergman and Nielsen are quality eye-candy and it is somewhat charming if you're in the right frame of mind. But I’ll take “Kull the Conqueror” (1997) over this; it has a light side too, but it’s less kiddie-ish and was loosely based on REH’s “By this Axe I Rule,” which means it contains more REH. Not to mention Kevin Sorbo makes for a great Kull, although he’s too genial and not brooding enough. The film runs 1 hour, 29 minutes. GRADE: C/C- (but sometimes amuses to the level of B-/C+)
CinemaSerf
Hot off the back of his outing as "Conan", Arnold Schwarzenegger teams up with Brigitte Nielsen in the eponymous role as both have to avenge the killing of her family and the destruction of her homeland by the evil "Gedren" (Sandahl Bergman). Their task is not helped much by their alighting on the precociously irritating Prince "Tarn" (Ernie Reyes Jnr.) and his nice but dim bodyguard "Falkon" (Paul L. Smith). Various set-piece escapades follow as "Sonja" gradually realises that she cannot prevail without the help of Arnie against the evil queen and her sidekick "Ikol" (Ronald Lacey) and so battle lines are drawn and sword play and acrobatics ensue. It's mercifully short which is a double blessing because I really did want to throttle the young princeling after about five minutes and I could probably extend that sentiment to the writing in general. It's woeful. Schwarzenegger has a little of his tongue in his cheek here, but the rest of the film takes itself far too seriously and better visual effects could probably have been conjured by a third year chemistry student. Nielsen has precisely no charisma, no charm, no screen presence - she just happens to be someone who looks like she could give Mike Tyson a run for his money and that, sadly, doesn't make this weak effort remotely entertaining as we meander along towards the inevitable conclusion. I suspect it did wonders for the sales of leather, but little else...
Movie Recommendation
Explorers1985-07-12Middle schooler Ben spends his free time watching sci-fi films, playing video games and reading comic books. Surprisingly, his affinity for all things fantastical yields a real result – when he has a vivid dream about technology, his prodigy best friend Wolfgang manages to create a working spacecraft. Joined by their buddy Darren, the boys take off into outer space and encounter some very odd extraterrestrial life.More...
Raw Deal1986-06-06Mark Kaminsky is kicked out of the FBI for his rough treatment of a suspect. He winds up as the sheriff of a small town in North Carolina. FBI Chief Harry Shannon, whose son has been killed by a mobster named Patrovina, enlists Kaminsky in a personal vendetta with a promise of reinstatement into the FBI if Patrovina is taken down. To accomplish this, he must go undercover and join Patrovina's gang.More...
By Dawn's Early Light1990-05-19A nuclear warhead launched by Soviet insurgents protesting the waning Cold War destroys the Ukrainian city of Donetsk. The destruction sets off a race between American and Soviet politicians to prevent a nuclear holocaust. While the U.S. president feverishly works to keep the military and political machine from going into overdrive, various subordinates panic. When the president is believed to be killed in a helicopter crash, zealous advisers take over.More...
Virgin Stripped Bare by Her Bachelors2000-05-27When filmmaker Young-soo introduces writer Soo-jung to his friend Jae-hoon, he unintentionally creates a love triangle. While Jae-hoon pursues Soo-jung, Young-soo clashes with his crew. Yet, just as the story appears to end, it starts all over again, this time with plenty of variations.More...
Long Live Robin Hood1971-03-12John Lackland seizes the English throne, believing the rightful ruler, his brother Richard the Lionheart, to be dead. When he learns that Richard is being held captive by the German emperor and can be ransomed for a large sum of money, he refuses to pay and orders the messengers, including Sir Henry of Nottingham, to be killed. Sir Henry escapes to Sherwood Forest, which belongs to his estates. There he joins forces with a group of Anglo-Saxons and fights under the name Robin Hood against the regime of the king's traitors...More...
The Count of Bragelonne1954-12-09Raoul de Bragelonne must uphold his musketeer father's legacy in the face of court intrigues from Cardinal Mazarin.More...
Haunted Honeymoon1986-07-25Radio personalities Larry Abbot and Vickie Pearle are stars of a mystery show. Since they announced their engagement, Larry has been plagued by speech problems and, seeking out an unconventional cure, he returns to his boyhood home, a mansion in the countryside, bringing Vickie along. Larry reunites with numerous family members, but discovers that there are sinister things afoot within the walls of the creepy estate.More...
Kull the Conqueror1997-08-29A barbarian named Kull becomes ruler after defeating the old king in battle. In an effort to regain the throne, the former king's heirs resurrect Akivasha, a witch queen. However, Akivasha has plans of her own for the throne, and only Kull stands in the way.More...
Conan the Destroyer1984-06-29Conan is commissioned by the evil queen Taramis to safely escort a teen princess and her powerful bodyguard to a far away castle to retrieve the magic Horn of Dagoth. Unknown to Conan, the queen plans to sacrifice the princess when she returns and inherit her kingdom after the bodyguard kills Conan. The queen's plans fail to take into consideration Conan's strength and cunning and the abilities of his sidekicks: the eccentric wizard Akiro, the warrior woman Zula, and the inept Malak. Together the hero and his allies must defeat both mortal and supernatural foes in this voyage to sword-and-sorcery land.More...
The Frisco Kid1979-07-06Rabbi Avram arrives in Philadelphia from Poland en route to San Francisco where he will be a congregation's new rabbi. An innocent and inexperienced traveller, he is tricked by con men to pay for the trip to go west, then they leave him and his belongings scattered along a deserted road. He is befriended by a stranger, Tommy, who is a bank robber and have many adventures during their journey.More...
American Ninja 2: The Confrontation1987-05-01On a remote Caribbean island, Army Ranger Joe Armstrong investigates the disappearance of several marines, which leads him to The Lion, a super-criminal who has kidnapped a local scientist and mass-produced an army of mutant Ninja warriors.More...
Man from Deep River1972-08-08A photographer in the rain forest is captured by wild natives, and after months of living with them, he marries the chief's daughter and helps protect the village from a vicious cannibal tribe.More...
Get Out Your Handkerchiefs1978-01-11Solange is seriously depressed, and her kindhearted husband, Raoul, makes it his mission to cure her doldrums. After many failed attempts to cheer her up, Raoul hits upon a possible solution: find his wife a lover. Unfortunately, his choice, Stéphane, proves to be just as ineffectual in restoring her flagging spirits. In the end, the gorgeous Solange finds her own, highly problematic tonic to her troubles in the form of a 13-year-old boy.More...
Belphegor, Phantom of the Louvre2001-04-03A collection of artifacts from an archeological dig in Egypt are brought to the famous Louvre museum in Paris, and while experts are using a laser scanning device to determine the age of a sarcophagus, a ghostly spirit escapes and makes its way into the museum's electrical system.More...
Shogun Assassin1980-11-11A Shogun who grew paranoid as he became senile sent his ninjas to kill his samurai. They failed but did kill the samurai’s wife. The samurai swore to avenge the death of his wife and roams the countryside with his toddler son in search of vengeance.More...
Prey2016-10-13A zoo veterinarian gets caught up in a grisly adventure as she finds herself leading the city-wide hunt for a monstrous lion terrorizing the Dutch capital of Amsterdam.More...
In America2003-09-22A family of Irish immigrants adjusts to life on the mean streets of Hell's Kitchen while also grieving the death of a child.More...
Conan the Barbarian1982-03-16A horde of rampaging warriors massacre the parents of young Conan and enslave the young child for years on The Wheel of Pain. As the sole survivor of the childhood massacre, Conan is released from slavery and taught the ancient arts of fighting. Transforming himself into a killing machine, Conan travels into the wilderness to seek vengeance on Thulsa Doom, the man responsible for killing his family. In the wilderness, Conan takes up with the thieves Valeria and Subotai. The group comes upon King Osric, who wants the trio of warriors to help rescue his daughter who has joined Doom in the hills.More...
Fled1996-07-19During a routine prison work detail, convict Piper is chained to Dodge, a cyberhacker, when gunfire breaks out. Apparently, the attack is related to stolen money that the Mafia is after, and some computer files that somebody wants desperately to bury. The pair, who don't exactly enjoy each other's company, escape and must work together if they are to reach Atlanta alive. Luckily, they meet a woman who may be willing to help them.More...
Deadgirl2008-09-06When high school misfits Rickie and JT decide to ditch school and find themselves lost in the crumbling facility of a nearby abandoned hospital, they come face-to-face with a gruesome discovery: a body of a woman stripped naked, chained to a table and covered in plastic and soon realize she is anything but dead. Quickly the boys find themselves embarking on a twisted yet poignant journey testing the limits of their friendship, and forces both to decide just how far they're willing to stretch their understanding of right and wrong.More...
Similar Movies
Your Highness
2011-04-08A fantasy movie about an arrogant, lazy prince and his more heroic brother who must complete a quest in order to save their father's kingdom.Mutation
2011-03-01A strange humanoid wakes up abandoned on a great rock in the middle of the ocean. Without shelter or food, he must confront the very purpose of his life and the great mystery that sustains his species.Ator, the Fighting Ea...
1982-10-07The son of Torren learns of his heritage, goes to avenge the deaths of his fellow villagers, and rescue his sister/love interest from the evil Dakkar and his spider cult.La Blue Girl: Revenge...
1995-02-24Three complete stories of Ninja Sexcraft! The live action version of the anime hit. Miko has been training all her life for the inevitable day when the sex-starved Shikima Demons would invade to subjugate the women of Earth with their lascivious tentacles. Now the barriers are breaking down and the people of Earth are in peril. The demons won't stop until they have insinuated themselves into every orifice available. Will the Shikima demons make slaves of all of Miko's friends? How can Miko possibly defend against the wrath of an entire dimension?The Seventh Curse
1986-11-22When Dr. Yuen attempts to rescue a girl about to be sacrificed by the Worm Tribe in the middle of a jungle in Thailand, he is damned with seven deadly "blood curses" and must return there to find a permanent cure.Bang Rajan
2000-12-29Set right before the fall of Thailand's old capital, Ayuttaya, Bang Rajan draws on the legend of a village of fighters who bravely fended off the Burmese armies.Mothra
1961-07-30Shipwreck survivors found on the presumably uninhabited Infant Island leads to a scientific expedition that discovers a surviving native population along with the Shobijin, tiny twin fairy priestesses of the island's mythical deity called Mothra. After the fairies are kidnapped by an exploitative businessman named Clark Nelson, Mothra sets out to rescue them.Heart of the Warrior
2000-01-21Beldar and Sonja, a pair of thieves, steal a precious gem from the crypt of the Order of the Thousand Eyes, a daring act that will lead to unforeseen consequences.All Monsters Attack
1969-12-20Ichiro Miki is a child living in the industrial district of Kawasaki, where his parents' constant struggle to make ends meet often leaves the schoolboy alone. Constantly teased by a bully nicknamed Gabara, his only friends are toy consultant Shinpei and fellow classmate Sachiko. Ichiro turns to escapist dreams of Monster Island where he befriends the equally bullied Minilla.Godzilla vs. Megaguir...
2000-12-16In an alternate timeline the original Godzilla is never defeated and repeatedly reemerges to feed on Japan's energy sources. A new inter-dimensional weapon called the Dimension Tide is created with the intent of eliminating Godzilla. However, the new weapon might also serve as a gateway to something far more sinister.The Losers
2010-04-23On a mission deep in the Bolivian jungle, a team of elite commandos finds itself on the receiving end of a lethal betrayal. Now presumed dead, the men join forces with a mysterious operative named Aisha to hunt down their enemy and even the score.Predators
2010-07-07A group of cold-blooded killers find themselves trapped on an alien planet to be hunted by extraterrestrial Predators.Dark Ascension
No data for this movieThe gates of Heaven & Hell have been broken and the afterlife is in ruins. One group of new arrivals must find a way to put things right to prevent an eternal battle between good & evil.The Prey: Legend of K...
2022-06-07A platoon of U.S. soldiers in Afghanistan become trapped in a cave and are hunted down by a deadly creature the locals call Karnoctus.Blade II
2002-03-22Blade forms an uneasy alliance with the vampire council in order to combat the Reapers, who are feeding on vampires.Modesty Blaise
1966-05-01Modesty Blaise, a secret agent whose hair color, hair style, and mod clothing change at a snap of her fingers is being used by the British government as a decoy in an effort to thwart a diamond heist. She is being set up by the feds but is wise to the plot and calls in sidekick Willie Garvin and a few other friends to outsmart them. Meanwhile, at his island hideaway, Gabriel, the diamond thief has his own plans for Blaise and Garvin.Blade
1998-08-21The Daywalker known as "Blade" - a half-vampire, half-mortal man - becomes the protector of humanity against an underground army of vampires.Blade: Trinity
2004-12-08For years, Blade has fought against the vampires in the cover of the night. But now, after falling into the crosshairs of the FBI, he is forced out into the daylight, where he is driven to join forces with a clan of human vampire hunters he never knew existed—The Nightstalkers. Together with Abigail and Hannibal, two deftly trained Nightstalkers, Blade follows a trail of blood to the ancient creature that is also hunting him—the original vampire, Dracula.X-Men
2000-07-13Two mutants, Rogue and Wolverine, come to a private academy for their kind whose resident superhero team, the X-Men, must oppose a terrorist organization with similar powers.X2
2003-04-27Professor Charles Xavier and his team of genetically gifted superheroes face a rising tide of anti-mutant sentiment led by Col. William Stryker. Storm, Wolverine and Jean Grey must join their usual nemeses—Magneto and Mystique—to unhinge Stryker's scheme to exterminate all mutants.