Samson
Reviews
Gimly
A strong contender for most poorly edited movie I've ever seen. Flies in the face of reason that this ever had a theatrical run. _Final rating:★ - Of no value. Avoid at all costs._
tmdb28039023
Samson is a Biblical drama that ironically appears to have been made by Philistines. The movie treats Samson as if he was an Israelite version of Hercules (which he may have very well been); sadly, the only Hercules director Bruce Macdonald seems to knows of is Kevin Sorbo's in The Legendary Journeys — to the point of giving him his own Iolaus (though Iolaus at least had an equivalent in Greek mythology). The year is "1170 BC" in "ancient Israel". I think the date alone would be enough to clue us in that we’re not in 'modern' Israel; on the other hand, considering that the establishing shot of “Israel” is a computer-generated image, perhaps the clarification is not as useless as it seems. We meet Samson (Taylor James) and his heretofore unheard of younger brother Caleb (Greg Kriek) stealing corn; caught in the act, they both flee from Philistine soldiers who, for some reason, stop chasing them once Samson and Caleb pass through the city gates — unfortunately, the film fails to have a Philistine soldier tell another: “Forget it, Jacob. It's Chinatown" (not as far-fetched as you may think; later there will be a direct reference to the Avengers’ Hulk). “Whispers of a Hebrew with great strength” reach the ears of the Philistine prince Rallah (Jackson Rathbone); he doesn't take them too seriously, but his father, King Balek (Billy Zane), orders him to investigate further, something Rallah does with no little reluctance (to paraphrase Iznogoud, Rallah wants to be King in place of the King). Rallah, listen to your friend Billy Zane, he’s a cool dude. Rallah recruits a Philistine giant (who calls the God of the Hebrews a “puny god”) to defeat Samson; Samson gets his ass handed to him at first, but when the Lord fills him with His spirit, Samson hulks up (that’s a reference to the other Hulk, mind you) and soon has the giant saying 'no más, no más'. From here on out the plot sticks more or less faithfully to the biblical account, with a small but peculiar departure wherein Samson has to be tricked into visiting a brothel; the Book of Judges says begs to differ, though: "Then went Samson to Gaza, and saw there an harlot, and went in unto her." Anyway, Samson is anointed Judge and travels to the Philistine capital to negotiate peace with Balek; his conditions are “reduce the tribute, return the harvest that is rightfully ours [or else] you will face the wrath of God.” In the film’s best line, Zane replies, with all the considerable sarcasm he can muster, "So you threaten me with natural phenomena, freakish acts, and the weather." Ha! In your face Samson! It almost makes me forget that Balek and Rallah are just as imaginary as Caleb-Iolaus — not that Samson or Delilah are historical figures, but almost; their story is so well known that you don't have to know your Bible to realize that this Samson is as much a caricature as the Simpsons' version of David and Goliath.
daniel_carr
After watching Noah (2014), I am really excited about movies telling the stories from the Bible from a more creative point of view. But this was really disappointing. I loved movies like Stargate (1994) there are the facts like the Pyramids were built and there are hieroglyphs that tell how long it took but we to this day don't know how they built them, we can't do that with our advanced technology. So I love how sci-fi fills in the blanks, and I wish other films would be that creative with the other stories not stick to traditional interpritations like this movie did. Really disappointing!
Movie Recommendation
Swerve2012-06-06Driving cross-country to a job interview, Colin takes a short cut and comes across a fatal road accident. One of the drivers, Jina, is shaken but unhurt; the other has been killed instantly. Beside the dead body is a briefcase full of money, which Colin turns in to the local police. But getting out of town proves a nightmare, as Colin's good deed causes a series of bizarre events to unfold.More...
California1977-07-16At the end of the Civil War, a Union soldier is released from prison and travels with a fellow prisoner to Missouri where his travelling companion is shot and hung for horse stealing. California decides to take the dead companion's belongings to his family's ranch, where he falls in love with his friend's sister. But then the "ghosts" of the war return in an unexpected way haunting him again.More...
Samson and Delilah1949-12-21When strongman Samson rejects the love of the beautiful Philistine woman Delilah, she seeks vengeance that brings horrible consequences they both regret.More...
Sweet Country2018-01-25In 1929, an Australian Aboriginal stockman kills a white station owner in self-defense and goes on the lam, pursued by a posse.More...
Johnny Handsome1989-09-12A career criminal who has been deformed since birth is given a new face by a kindly doctor and paroled from prison. It appears that he has gone straight, but he is really planning his revenge on the man who killed his mentor and sent him to prison.More...
Excess Baggage1997-08-29A rich brat fakes her own kidnapping, but in the process ends up locked in the trunk of a car that gets stolen.More...
Loser2000-07-21On a university scholarship, a good natured student from the midwest gets a crash course in city life while dealing with three evil roommates. He befriends a virtually homeless college student whom he falls for, but she's dating a nasty professor.More...
The Hollars2016-08-25Aspiring New York City artist John Hollar returns to his Middle America hometown on the eve of his mother’s brain surgery. Joined by his girlfriend, eight months pregnant with their first child, John is forced to navigate the crazy world he left behind.More...
The Princess and the Pilot2011-10-01The war between the Levamme Empire and the Amatsukami Imperium has been raging for years. In the midst of this struggle, the prince of the Levamme Empire declares his love for Juana del Moral and vows to end the war in one year, as part of his marriage proposal. When the Amatsukami catch wind of this, they assault the del Moral residence, targeting Juana's life. As a last-ditch effort to bring the prince his bride, the San Maltilia Airforce employs a mercenary of mixed blood—a bestado—to fly Juana to the prince in secret.More...
Love in the Time of Cholera2007-10-04In Colombia just after the Great War, an old man falls from a ladder; dying, he professes great love for his wife. After the funeral, a man calls on the widow - she dismisses him angrily. Flash back more than 50 years to the day Florentino Ariza, a telegraph boy, falls in love with Fermina Daza, the daughter of a mule trader.More...
Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things2015-09-26How might your life be better with less? The popular simple-living duo The Minimalists examines the many flavors of minimalism by taking the audience inside the lives of minimalists from various walks of life.More...
Congo1995-06-09Eight people embark on an expedition into the Congo, a mysterious expanse of unexplored Africa, where human greed and the laws of nature have gone berserk.More...
Live Twice, Love Once2019-09-06A retired academic teacher tries to find the love of his youth after being diagnosed with Alzheimer's.More...
The Crush1993-04-02A precocious and obsessive teenager develops a crush on a naive writer with harrowing consequences.More...
Jeruzalem2016-01-22When a couple of American young adults fly to Israel to visit the city of Jerusalem, a biblical nightmare falls upon the city.More...
Eraser1996-06-21A Witness Protection specialist becomes suspicious of his co-workers when dealing with a case involving high-tech weapons.More...
Solomon Kane2009-12-23A nomadic 16th century warrior, condemned to hell for his brutal past, seeks redemption by renouncing violence, but finds some things are worth burning for as he fights to free a young Puritan woman from the grip of evil.More...
A-X-L2018-08-23The life of a teenage boy is forever altered by a chance encounter with cutting edge military technology.More...
Second Act2018-11-22Value Shop assistant manager Maya Vargas wants only one thing for her 43rd birthday -- a promotion. While her résumé may not scream upper management, her track record certainly does; she is an innovator who listens to her customers and delivers results. When she loses the job to a college-educated candidate, Maya sets out to prove to Madison Avenue that street smarts are as valuable as book smarts -- and it's never too late for a second act.More...
To Rome with Love2012-04-20Four tales unfold in the Eternal City: While vacationing in Rome, architect John encounters a young man whose romantic woes remind him of a painful incident from his own youth; retired opera director Jerry discovers a mortician with an amazing voice, and he seizes the opportunity to rejuvenate his own flagging career; a young couple have separate romantic interludes; a spotlight shines on an ordinary man.More...
Similar Movies
The Passion of the Ch...
2004-02-25A graphic portrayal of the last twelve hours of Jesus of Nazareth's life.National Theatre Live...
2025-09-25Jessica Parks is a smart Crown Court Judge at the top of her career. Behind the robe, she is a karaoke fiend, loving wife and a supportive parent. When an event threatens to throw her life completely off balance, can she hold her family upright?Europa
1991-06-27Just after World War II, an American takes a railway job in Germany, but finds his position politically sensitive with various people trying to use him.Black Book
2006-09-14Israel, 1956: Jewish teacher Rachel Stein rather unexpectedly meets an old friend at the kibbutz. It brings back memories of her experiences in the Netherlands during the war, memories of betrayal. In September 1944, Rachel's hiding place is bombed by Allied troops; she makes contact with a resistance member and joins a group of Jews to be smuggled across the Biesbosch to the freed South Netherlands. Only Rachel escapes a massacre by patrol Germans, and is rescued by a resistance group under the leadership of Gerben Kuipers, whose son is captured trying to smuggle weapons. Kuipers asks Rachel to seduce SS-hauptsturmführer Ludwig Müntze, a mission that she will soon learn that the boat attack wasn't a coincidence.Mortal Kombat
1995-08-18For nine generations an evil sorcerer has been victorious in hand-to-hand battle against his mortal enemies. If he wins a tenth Mortal Kombat tournament, desolation and evil will reign over the multiverse forever. To save Earth, three warriors must overcome seemingly insurmountable odds, their own inner demons, and superhuman foes.Private Parts
1997-03-07The life and career of shock-jock superstar Howard Stern is recounted from his humble beginnings to his view from the top. Possessing a desire to be an on-air personality since childhood, Stern meanders through the radio world, always with his supportive wife, Alison, by his side. Landing a gig in Washington, D.C., Stern meets Robin Quivers, who will become his long-time partner in crime. When the two move to New York, they face the wrath of NBC executives.Fallen
1998-01-16Homicide detective John Hobbes witnesses the execution of serial killer Edgar Reese. Soon after the execution the killings start again, and they are very similar to Reese's style.Elizabeth's Gift
2012-04-26When a precious little girl dies tragically of a rare heart condition, her grieving parents are left to pick up the pieces of their once perfect life. In a sequence of events influenced by faith (and perhaps miracles), they are guided to a homeless girl on the streets, and a battle ensues to reunite as a family and heal their broken hearts.Samson and Gideon
1965-01-01Consisting of two segments, the film is centered on two great Israelite leaders found in the Book of Judges.Jacob: The Man Who Fo...
1963-04-05Biblical figure Jacob is forced to flee for his life when an enraged Esau vows to kill him.The Prince of Egypt
1998-12-16The strong bond between two Royal Egyptian brothers is challenged when their chosen responsibilities set them at odds, with extraordinary consequences.F/X
1986-02-07A movies special effects man is hired by a government agency to help stage the assassination of a well known gangster. When the agency double cross him, he uses his special effects to trap the gangster and the corrupt agents.The Pelican Brief
1993-09-17A law student's theory about the recent deaths of two Supreme Court justices embroils her in a far-reaching web of murder, corruption, and greed.End of Days
1999-11-24Cynical bodyguard Jericho is hired by a man possessed by Satan, who is in search of his bride. When Jericho realizes what is happening, he must do everything he can to save the woman and the world.The Merchant of Venic...
2004-12-03Venice, 1596. Bassanio begs his friend Antonio, a prosperous merchant, to lend him a large sum of money so that he can woo Portia, a very wealthy heiress; but Antonio has invested his fortune abroad, so they turn to Shylock, a Jewish moneylender, and ask him for a loan.Redemption Ride
2011-08-19After testing positive for performance enhancing drug use, world class bicycle racing champion Colter Reese thought he had ridden his last mile ....The Black Jew
2017-08-18Aaron Eliyahu, a Jewish man, travels to a small village called Mala, Kerala in search of his Jewish heritage. On his journey, he befriends a Muslim man named Beerankunj. Unfortunately, Aaron meets with a fatal motor accident that lands him in a state of coma in a hermitage somewhere in North India. By the time he reaches Mala, he sees that his house has been converted into a post office and learns that his mother, Veronica, entrusted all her property with the panchayat before leaving for Israel. Unable to prove his own identity, Aaron is denied the rights to his own house. Since he is unable to provide any concrete evidence in the court of law, Aaron is thrown into the streets with only his true friend Beerankunj by his side. Karutha Joodhan reveals the unexpected happenings passing through the three generations of Aaron and Beerankunj.Adam's Apples
2005-04-15A neo-nazi sentenced to community service at a church clashes with the blindly devotional priest.The Remains of the Da...
1993-11-05A rule-bound head butler's world of manners and decorum in the household he maintains is tested by the arrival of a housekeeper who falls in love with him in post-WWI Britain. The possibility of romance and his master's cultivation of ties with the Nazi cause challenge his carefully maintained veneer of servitude.Gloomy Sunday
1999-10-21Budapest in the thirties. The restaurant owner Laszlo hires the pianist András to play in his restaurant. Both men fall in love with the beautiful waitress Ilona who inspires András to his only composition. His song of Gloomy Sunday is, at first, loved and then feared, for its melancholic melody triggers off a chain of suicides. The fragile balance of the erotic ménage à trois is sent off kilter when the German Hans goes and falls in love with Ilona as well.