Transformers

Reviews

CinemaSerf
With all the gazillion planets in the galaxy to choose from, the warring Cybertron races of "Autobots" (the sort of goodies) and "Decepticons" (the sort of baddies) descend on Earth in search of a missing cube. This "allspark" - landed on our planet aeons ago and for many years has been unwittingly in the custody of the always competent US military and their "Section 7" operatives - currently led by "Simmons" (John Turturro). Now it transpires that there is a clue to the location of this gizmo - and that is to be found on the spectacles of the grandfather of "Sam" (Shia LaBeouf), only he doesn't know it. The goodies decide to protect him by providing him with one of their number, the ultimate convertible car "Bumblebee" but that doesn't actually end up being much use as his bodyguard and soon poor old "Sam" and his gal "Mikaela" (the startlingly wooden Megan Fox) are embroiled in the action-packed Meccano movie. The star is easy on the eye and has a soupçon of charisma to bring, but otherwise this is just a shockingly derivative series of repetitive fight scenes featuring robots between whom it is almost impossible to distinguish. Their vocals all seem to involve them speaking into the microphone through an old pair of socks, and as it lurches on I gradually found I really couldn't care less whether the red robot beat the black one - you just know this is but the start of a never ending franchise with only two purposes. 1 - to restart the flagging career of Josh Duhamel and 2 - to sell toys, thousands and thousands of toys. Marketing has often been behind some of the most successful movie spin-offs, but somehow this is just a touch more cynical than the rest. The story is weak and the characterisations, such as they are, are about as deep as a hoof print. Plenty of pyrotechnics, though, but at all but 2½ hours long, this is a long old haul. Maybe if I were only twelve years old, but...
Movie Recommendation
- Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen2009-06-19Sam Witwicky leaves the Autobots behind for a normal life. But when his mind is filled with cryptic symbols, the Decepticons target him and he is dragged back into the Transformers' war.More...
- Transformers: Dark of the Moon2011-06-28The Autobots continue to work for NEST, now no longer in secret. But after discovering a strange artifact during a mission in Chernobyl, it becomes apparent to Optimus Prime that the United States government has been less than forthright with them.More...
- Transformers: Age of Extinction2014-06-25As humanity picks up the pieces after the battle of Chicago, a shadowy group reveals itself in an attempt to control the direction of history…while an ancient, powerful new menace sets Earth in its crosshairs. With help from Cade Yeager, Optimus Prime and the Autobots rise to meet their most fearsome challenge yet.More...
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- Transformers: Beginnings2007-10-16On their home planet of Cybertron, the Autobots and Decepticons are involved in an explosive battle over the coveted AllSpark. With the fate of the universe at stake, the Autobots send it far from the reaches of the ruthless Megatron, leader of the Decepticons. But there are even more surprises in store when it crash-lands on Earth.More...
- Transformers: The Last Knight2017-06-16Humans and Transformers are at war. Optimus Prime is gone. The key to saving our future lies buried in the secrets of the past, in the hidden history of Transformers on Earth. Saving our world falls upon the shoulders of an unlikely alliance: Cade Yeager; Bumblebee; an English Lord; and an Oxford Professor.More...
- Clash of the Titans2010-03-26Born of a god but raised as a man, Perseus is helpless to save his family from Hades, vengeful god of the underworld. With nothing to lose, Perseus volunteers to lead a dangerous mission to defeat Hades before he can seize power from Zeus and unleash hell on earth. Battling unholy demons and fearsome beasts, Perseus and his warriors will only survive if Perseus accepts his power as a god, defies fate and creates his own destiny.More...
- Stargate1994-10-28An interstellar teleportation device, found in Egypt, leads to a planet with humans resembling ancient Egyptians who worship the god Ra.More...
- X-Men Origins: Wolverine2009-04-28After seeking to live a normal life, Logan sets out to avenge the death of his girlfriend by undergoing the mutant Weapon X program and becoming Wolverine.More...
- The Book of Eli2010-01-14A post-apocalyptic tale, in which a lone man fights his way across America in order to protect a sacred book that holds the secrets to saving humankind.More...
- Underworld: Evolution2006-01-12As the war between the vampires and the Lycans rages on, Selene, a former member of the Death Dealers (an elite vampire special forces unit that hunts werewolves), and Michael, the werewolf hybrid, work together in an effort to unlock the secrets of their respective bloodlines.More...
- Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer2007-06-13The Fantastic Four return to the big screen as a new and all powerful enemy threatens the Earth. The seemingly unstoppable 'Silver Surfer', but all is not what it seems and there are old and new enemies that pose a greater threat than the intrepid superheroes realize.More...
- Battle: Los Angeles2011-03-08When once distant UFOs become a terrifying threat and an alien invasion force begins attacking Earths major costal and riverside cities, a U.S Marine staff sergeant and his team are sent into battle only to find they must take it upon themselves to defeat an unknown enemy and protect what remains of Los Angeles.More...
- The Adventures of Tintin2011-10-24Intrepid young reporter, Tintin, and his loyal dog, Snowy, are thrust into a world of high adventure when they discover a ship carrying an explosive secret. As Tintin is drawn into a centuries-old mystery, Ivan Ivanovitch Sakharine suspects him of stealing a priceless treasure. Tintin and Snowy, with the help of salty, cantankerous Captain Haddock and bumbling detectives, Thompson and Thomson, travel half the world, one step ahead of their enemies, as Tintin endeavors to find the Unicorn, a sunken ship that may hold a vast fortune, but also an ancient curse.More...
- Signs2002-08-02A family living on a farm finds mysterious crop circles in their fields which suggests something more frightening to come.More...
- Men in Black1997-07-02After a police chase with an otherworldly being, a New York City cop is recruited as an agent in a top-secret organization established to monitor and police alien activity on Earth: the Men in Black. Agent K and new recruit Agent J find themselves in the middle of a deadly plot by an intergalactic terrorist who has arrived on Earth to assassinate two ambassadors from opposing galaxies.More...
- Total Recall2012-08-02Factory worker Doug Quaid takes a virtual mind-trip vacation with the Rekall company, opting for implanted memories of being a spy. When the procedure goes wrong, Quaid becomes a wanted man by the police and joins forces with a rebel fighter to stop the evil Chancellor Cohaagen.More...
- Deep Impact1998-05-08A seven-mile-wide space rock is hurtling toward Earth, threatening to obliterate the planet. Now, it's up to the president of the United States to save the world. He appoints a tough-as-nails veteran astronaut to lead a joint American-Russian crew into space to destroy the comet before impact. Meanwhile, an enterprising reporter uses her smarts to uncover the scoop of the century.More...
- E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial1982-06-11An alien is left behind on Earth and saved by the 10-year-old Elliot who decides to keep him hidden in his home. While a task force hunts for the extra-terrestrial, Elliot, his brother, and his little sister Gertie form an emotional bond with their new friend, and try to help him find his way home.More...
- Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End2007-05-19Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann join forces with the revived Captain Barbossa to free Jack Sparrow from Davy Jones' locker. The group must navigate dangerous waters, confront many foes and, ultimately, choose sides in a battle wherein piracy itself hangs in the balance.More...
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